Updates

It's been close to two weeks since I wrote - it's been a very busy time here, what with moving, the divorce, school, the kids' schedules. Life has bordered on hectic but it's been a different kind of hectic. The drama has lessened considerably since we've moved. I have actually taken the night off from my Medical Office Procedures Class to do the trick or treat thing with my daughter, my girlfriends and their kids. We had a ball - four kids with six adults trailing along! Too funny!

I've been studying hard too. My pharmacology mid year was a 92! I was shocked to say the least! The only down side is that I OD'd an 11 month old baby on paper with Dilantin. Oh ya I used the wrong formula all right! Poor kid should have gotten a dose of 7.8 mg, not 47.8!! OMG I had to explain myself in class this morning! Glad it was on paper though and not reality!

Tomorrow is Phlebotomy and I've studied as much of that as I can. Thursday is the dreaded A&P Exam II, which I have studied but will NOT stay in my head! In fact, I'm going to search out the on line tutor momentarily to see if there's some way to make sure all this stuff stays in my head! One would think I would have it memorized since this is my second time through the class!

Nursing school applications are being accepted starting tomorrow! Yes, I have mine filled out and ready to rock! I just hope I get one of the 100 spots (actually there are 60 night slots and 40 day slots). I think I'm in the position to take whatever spot I get! I also have no clue what I will do if I don't get in this time. I know last semester there were people that had A's and didn't get in! No one in API got in last year at all and there were 16 of us applying. NOT ONE got accepted. Maybe the selection committee will take pity on my old age and let me in. I'll be a good nurse, I'm sure of it most days. I know I'm capable of working hard enough; I worry I won't be smart enough to handle nursing school. Keep the fingers crossed and keep the prayers flowing.

Closing an Old Book ... Opening a New One

Today my divorce was granted. It's a mixed day; I've wavered from being very happy that the whole process is finally over to crying over 22 years done in the bang of a gavel. Yes, I started this process and I'm glad it's over but it's still sad that no matter what I tried to do to fix things, this was something I just couldn't fix.

I'm happiest that I have custody of all three children - I'm glad they all decided in the end to move in with me. This house, while little, is working out quite well. The kids have adjusted their schedules ever so slightly. My daughter is in an after school program so she's busy two days per week at school; my sons did not have to change their bus routes so they're happy. The dog is even thrilled with his new back yard where he can run loose and bark his little fool head off. This is what I've wanted for the last I don't know how many years - why does it seem so damned lonesome? It's not for lack of company - because there are certainly enough people in this house at any given time for me to chat with...I guess it's because for all these years, in bad and good, there was someone there just for me - even though he wasn't there for me much these past eight years or so. He's locked in his own world right now and that's fine with me. There wasn't room in it for me anyhow.

So tonight I open a new book - my life as a single mother. Strange to see it written out. I've also received my first piece of mail addressed as "Ms" and not "Mrs." It looks funny but I'll get used to it.

A New Chapter

Today I'm starting a new chapter in the world of Twinkielight. I am finally moving into my own house! All week, I have slowly been moving things to my new home across town with a tremendous amount of help from my daughter. Together we have moved a lot of our accumulate things into this house. Today we are scheduled to move two dressers and three beds, plus our clothes. The goal is to sleep in the new house tonight. Let's see if we'll get there!

She and I both have the day off from work/school so we have no time limits. Right now she's watching tv and I'm taking a blog-break. I have a court date in five days to finalize the divorce and it's a good thing to be moving. The tension here is too thick for me to deal with on top of work and school. I had to get out so I took a gigantic leap of faith and signed a one year lease on a small, three bedroom home with a large fence in yard across town. The kids don't have to change schools and I live about a breath away from my job. It's going to be a good thing. The best part is that all three of my children are coming with me! I was nervous because my middle son was going to stay with his dad but in the end he's decided to come with me. I'm happy that he's made the decision on his own; I couldn't make it for him because he's old enough to make that kind of decision on his own. I'm just glad he's coming! It wouldn't have felt right without him...kind of like having an arm cut off and feeling the phantom pains. Just wouldn't be right.

I DID IT! I REALLY DID IT!!

Tonight - in my Phlebotomy class, I did my first "live arm" draw and got a nice sample from my 'patient' Sue. I got discouraged because I didn't get anything from "Fred" the fake arm after seven or eight attempts. It's very unnerving to not get a sample after so many tries but my instructor said to keep trying - it'll happen. TONIGHT?! IT DID!!! I was SOOO excited afterwards that I couldn't help but GRIN like a bloody (no pun intended) fool. The girl that drew me, unfortunately, was not so lucky. I have what is termed "angel hair pasta" veins. She tried but didn't get a sample. We have to poke a different person each week.

I also got last week's quiz back - 88.9%! I'm smoking so far this semester! I just hope I can keep it up! I finished a placement test today to place out of Keyboarding I (and typing 85 WPM I don't think I need keyboarding TYVM!) Of course, I can't place out of Word I so I'm going to take that in January (along with Microbiology - ugh).

Schoolwise, things are very very good! We just won't discuss the other side of the coin - I'm in too good a mood!!!

A&P Makes a Little Sense

I just got my test grade for my first A&P quiz and I'm proud to say I got a 94! Now, it wasn't that hard in my eyes but maybe it's because I understand it better the second time around :)

The graded have generally been good so far - I've just started one course this week so we'll see (Medical Office Procedures) which looks like a gasser of a class. I'm given a practice, complete wiht 24 patients. I have to create a filing system and I have $5,000 to outfit my front office (not including medical equipment). My first project is to create a patient information brochure (which I have done already!) The next step is to create individual files for my patients, get my order ready for the office supply store and start seeing patients. Sounds cool eh? Pharmacology is going well - my average there is 90 already. So out of my four classes, three are going very well. I'm having trouble in Phlebotomy - it took me five tries to get a sample out of the fake arm. We go to live arms Wednesday and I am NOT ready - at all!! We have to let someone in the class draw our blood. I feel bad for whoever gets to draw me because I have horrible little angel hair veins that move and shift.

I went to see my NH family this weekend - inside joke - and I'm amazed at how big the kids are getting! The youngest (my boyfriend!) is walking quite nicely on his own. He walked out to meet me (with help from one of his sisters). We had cake on both Friday and Saturday nights to celebrate Rachel's birthday (which was the 18th). They are all taking her to the circus on October 20th for her birthday. She is very excited about that let me tell you! (I get to go too!)

On a sad note, I lost my job at the radio station on Friday. Yes I know I felt it coming but it still hurt to get 'let go'. Oh well! Better times are coming for me I'm sure!!

And Away We Go!

Here it is, the end of a full week of school. I've had two quizzes (one in Pharmacology 95 yay me!) and one in A&P (boo hissss). The homework is not all that bad at the moment but I'm doing my best to stay on top of it all.

It's just before 11pm on a quiet Thursday. It's gently raining outside and the sound is very soothing. The drive home tonight took just about 45 minutes (for a 35 mile ride). I think I'm going to like the ride for the most part (check back when it starts snowing and we'll see!) The ride gives me time to unwind, settle down from A&P and just plain relax a bit. I came home to a quiet house tonight - everyone was in bed (one was not asleep but it's ok; he was waiting for me to get home safely). I'm heading to bed myself in a few minutes. I need a drink and a tylenol as the dissection tonight was a little heady. I forgot what everything smells like and I've got a bit of a headache. Tomorrow is my night off and boy I can't wait! Even housework will be better than running off to a class! Yes, I said that out loud!! LOL!

End of the First Week

TGIF!! Never have four words been more heartfelt!! I am SOO glad today is Friday! With three straight late class nights, I'm glad to have tonight off! Last night was the dreaded Anatomy & Physiology. The class itself wasn't bad; the 45-minute drive home was exhausting. I pulled in shortly before 11 pm to half a household still awake much to my dismay. It didn't take long to get everyone bedded down, including myself. I thought about tossing in laundry but didn't have the heart to walk down two flights of stairs...I'm doing it now since it's early and I'm semi-awake.

I got my new laptop yesterday and used it last night to take notes in class. I made it through the entire lecture before the battery died. Not a problem - there weren't too many lab notes to take last night and I'd brought a notebook and pen. It's a nice laptop - lots of little things to figure out when I have some time to do so!

There's only one class I haven't attended yet - Medical Secretarial Procedures - she's at a conference for the next week or so. That class starts on the 19th. Stay tuned!

Back To School - Grown Up Style

Tonight was my first of four classes for this semester - Phlebotomy. I never realized just how much one person can do in a lab setting! We managed to get through two chapters (no lab tonight). There's a quiz just about every week which I think will be just fine since I have three other classes that need my attention (including Pharmacology tomorrow morning and the dreaded A&P I a-g-a-i-n tomorrow night from 5-10).

I'll try to keep up on my blog and keep you posted on my progress through the semester. I'm hoping that I can keep my sanity long enough to finish this 15-week session. There's so much going on right now it's hard to stay loose and not let it all bog me down. I'm grateful I have sounding boards (even if I have to pay one of them to listen to me whine! Can I get some cheese to go with my fine whine?!)

Labor Day

I concluded a quiet summer with an equally quiet weekend up North. Well...almost quiet! Friday night I arrived to three semi-hyped little girls all clamoring for a hug from "Aunty Sharon" as I have lately been called (I love it!). We arrived just in time for dessert - if I told you we all had brain, would you believe me???? When all was settled, it was bedtime for everyone.

Saturday started with RIBS! MMMMMMMM Phil and Cedar had them prepared and ready to pop on the grill outside. They cooked all day (imagine if you will what heaven must smell like!) I went canoeing and came back with two bags of elderberries - a jelly hint? Maybe! I sat with Cedar and Sandy pulling berries off the stems. We all had purple tinged hands after half an hour but the color washed out easily enough. I stuck a little piece of reed in some of the juice and boy what a shade of purple it came out! I am eager to dye some reed to see what it looks like in a basket.

I can't say enough about Saturday dinner - I'd end up hungry and I'm going for a complete blood profile in the morning so I'm NPO from now until 10 am tomorrow!!! Let's just say it was H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y! Ribs so tender - the meat fell off the bone. I bow to the RIB KING PHIL. Cedar made the lovliest loaf of elderberry bread that was a beautiful shade of purple from the berries, along with a nice salad.

Sunday morning I made pancakes for everyone using boring blueberries...lol..they're boring next to those lovely elderberries. I went back out on the Pemi to dig up some elderberry bushes so that Cedar could start a patch of her own. Sunday night I stayed up to watch Carlos Mencia - I have never laughed so hard in my life!

Monday (Labor Day) was very quiet. I went out to the garden and met this little guy near the corn and potatoes... NOT one of my favorite things to almost walk into let me tell you!
I just about died when I camethisclose to walking into the web he was hanging from! Anyone who knows me knows that there is only one thing that makes me scream like a girl (you're lookin' at it!)

I left about 7 Monday night and didn't hit a stitch of traffic the entire way home. I guess everyone went home early or stayed home because of the threat of rain.

End of "the first week"-Kid Version

The reports are in - school is WONDERFUL!! Two of my three children are in new school situations this year. My middle son is starting high school (YES I SAID HIGH SCHOOL - HOLY COW AM I THAT OLD?!) and he loves it! As we've been telling him, he's tickled purple and gold (school colors). He got lost yesterday and made it to art 10 minutes late. Someone gave him the wrong directions so he took a 20 minute tour of the school and then realized he could get there going a different way (that took a minute!) He was....irritated....but he'll figure out the shortcuts soon.

My daughter - she's heading into the fourth grade already! It just doesn't seem possible that she's gotten so big so fast! It seems like just the other day she was born and now she's a big girl. It just proves that time is moving along whether we like it or not. The cool thing is my bus route takes me by her school at her recess time so we get to say howdy to each other (even if it's just a wave to each other). She enjoys her teacher and has six classmates from last year in her new class.

My oldest? He's a junior and doesn't care..lol... He's actually counting down to graduation already! This time next year - he'll be a senior and ready to fly out of the nest. THIS makes me feel really old! 18 years - gone in a blink. Doesn't seem possible that this man/child - my first, the one I had no clue what to do with when I first brought him home - is about ready to take on the challenges of the world alone in just a few short years. Time has gone way too fast but the upcoming journey has mysteries of its own.

I start classes 9/6 and I too find myself excited about the idea of learning more new stuff. I have a full load this year - Phlebotomy, Pharmacology, Medical Secretarial Procedures and Anatomy & Physiology (yes, A-G-A-I-N) Everyone say booo hisssssss. This time I'll do much better - I know I will!

Back To School

I saw this poem on an internet radio site earlier this week and I'd like to share it here. Please don't get teary eyed like I did the first time I heard it! If you do, here's a tissue to get you through! Thanks to those at KLOVE for publishing it - it is called

Treat Her Well

Dear World,
I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress , two twinkling eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long and a flash of shiny hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well. She’s slipping out of the back yard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day of school and never again will she be completely mine. Frail and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good Bye” and walk with little lady steps to the school house. Now she’ll learn to stand in lines and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school bells and deadlines and she’ll learn to giggle and gossip and look to the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the isle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she’ll learn to be jealous and now she’ll learn how it feels to be hurt inside now she’ll learn how not to cry. No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the side walk. Nor will she have time to pop out of the bed with the dawn and kiss the lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about those important things. Things like grades, and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. The books and learning will replace the blocks and dolls. Now she’ll find new heroes. For 5 full years now, I’ve been her sage and Santa clause and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers which is only right but no longer will I be the smartest greatest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time she’ll learn what it means to be a member of a group with all of its privileges and disadvantages too. She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud or kiss dogs or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer. Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends and I’ll stand at the front porch and watch her start out on that long lonely journey to becoming a woman. So world I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress with two twinkling eyes and a flash of hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well.

Just about sums up back to school doesn't it?

New Babies

This is the newest member of my family - my brother and sister inlaw's new daughter. Isn't she B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L??? Without a doubt, the most beautiful baby I've seen in 5 years (well, since the birth of my other niece...:D I'm a happy aunt (for the third time!) After a few minor complications everyone is home and resting comfortably.

Busy busy busy

I looked at the calendar today and realized that in just a few short days, August will be over, the kids will be in school (as will I) and fall will be upon us before we're really ready. It's made me wonder whether I'm making the most of my time on this ride called life.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and things have not moved along in a nice manner. The court date came and nothing (to me) was resolved. I'm still in the situation I'm in, nothing has changed there. The one constant is the stress and strain of living with someone you know no longer respects you or cares what happens to you. I have three beautiful children out of this union and not much else. I've got a home I'm fighting to keep however I have recently decided to not fight for it. It's not worth the time, nor the energy. I'd rather take what I am entitled to and leave. There are other places with four walls and a roof - wherever that may be, I will let the Lord decide. I just know that here is not the place of peace and quiet it used to be. I am tense here, snippish, anxious; not the "me" I want to be.

The car died Sunday/Monday so I'm in the market for a new one. The cost to fix it is more than the value of it so my mechanic/friend said it was time to find something else. I've had this van just over two years; I wasn't all that sure about buying it in the first place but felt almost shoved into the deal. This time, I'll make the final decision not someone else.

The one bright spot is that school starts in two weeks! I can't wait to learn new things. My first class is Phlebotomy which should be very interesting. Tuesday/Thursday morning is Pharmacology, Tuesday Night is Intro to Medical Secretarial Procedures and Thursday night is round TWO of Anatomy & Physiology I. Yes I know - been there, done that. Just didn't get high enough grades. I'm certain that I will do much better this time. Keep your fingers crossed!

Lawyers and Such

Well, I got a call late Sunday night asking if I could make a 4:15 appointment on Monday to have a meet and greet with my soon to be ex husband and his lawyer. Can I say that I feel like I haven't even gotten a kiss? It will cost me to have him move out - can we all say $39,000?! That's how much his equity is in the house now that I want to keep. Sooo, it looks like I'm getting another mortgage for about $140K which will pay off my current mortgage, give HIM money he wants as well as let me keep the house I've been taking care of for the past 14 years.

I'm upset - I can't manage a $140K mortgage. The mortgage company insists I can but we'll see. I have the kids - that's all that really matters to me. I need a hug right now and it hasn't been the nicest of weeks so far. My head is swimming with all that I need to do right now and the court date is two days away. I'm hoping to get all the mortgage stuff cleared up and have this whole nightmare be thankfully behind me very soon.

I'm Not Getting Comfortable

Well it's been a very interesting two weeks at my new job at the radio station. On my first day, the station manager quit...a new GM was hired (an ad exec at the station!)...HE promptly let go the afternoon DJ, then the senior program director, which led to one of the other ad exec's turning in HIS keys. The employee list had been changed three times in ONE day! When I went in yesterday, I was asked if I wanted to leave for a while during all this nuttiness and come back that my job would be there. It's kinda like "we'll let you go but bring you back when it calms down". Hey, I've been in places like this before; not a problem - I'll just stay under the radar, do my work, and shut my mouth! I need this job more than before so I can do all these things :)

As for the court date, six days left. I've got a dull pain in my head (I know it's stress) but I'm keeping cool (or at least trying to!) School is starting in three weeks and I'm waiting for a book to finish one of my classes that is hanging on (the math, of course!). I've ordered the notes and am waiting for them to come in the USPS some time this week. I'm hoping to read them and make sense of my last remaining book, take the two tests, the final and be done done done with it (in the next three weeks of course!) I can take the two tests in one day and the final on another (no sweat). I just need to be done with this class before school starts. My nursing school application is ready to roll - I've been updating it with my grades as they have posted - so I'll be ready when applications are ready to be accepted in October/November (I think).

Teaching a Young Dog a New Trick

My boyfriend was thirsty so I took a drink out of the hose and kissed him...He figured he'd cut out the middleman and get his own drink! He's a year old and I do believe this is his first hose-drink. Not to worry - I didn't let him drink too much from the hose and it had been running freely for almost 20 minutes (the pool was being filled at the time).

My beautiful friend!

This is my beautiful friend Cedar-licious. She cut off approximately 21" of her hair Friday and this is the result. SHE LOOKS WONDERFUL doesn't she??? I spent the afternoon with her this past Sunday and she just kept flipping her new hair! It looks so lovely on her - I think it frames her face so nicely...Of course I loved her beautiful long, blonde hair but this is much easier to keep, being that she's the mother of FOUR children under 7!

General Musings

I have been busy busy busy with work (both jobs now), keeping up with the kids (my oldest finally has a summer job!) and taking a day or two to visit my friends up Nawth. I did get a chance to go up this past weekend - the rose arbor is FINISHED! Of course, the last board was nailed into place and Cedar says hey, let's make it 12' longer!! *BLINK* Digging post holes is not easy there (it's not called The Granite State for nothing y'know!) I figure there is a post hole in my very near future and more 4x6's and joist hangers and nails. Good thing I enjoy that kind of work!

It's getting close to my court date and I'm getting a nervous twitch. It's not fear exactly, it's just fear of the unknown. There are so many issues at large that I don't know which one is going to put me over the edge: will I get to keep my home or will I have to sell it? Can I afford it? Will I have to move everyone (when I really don't want to!) Will my soon-to-be-ex be friendly about the whole thing or will he be vindictive? I'm hoping for friendly because that's the way I'd like to see things play out. We'll see... Thank god I have friends to express my fears to or else I'd probably be a sniveling mess by now. I know I'm making the right decision - I haven't had a moment of doubt since last August/September. It's just getting scarier now because the day is getting closer.

Hot Hot Hot

Here in the northeast it's been hotter than the hinges on Hades lately. I've found that the people I work with during the day are managing far better than I. I have gone to work dressed in my normal attire only to find that I want to strip it all off and run nekkid through the sprinklers outside (now...there are no sprinklers outside but people have offered to squirt me with bottles of water from the second floor windows if I decide to go run around sans clothes!)

It's supposed to be hotter this weekend if you can believe it! I plan to drink lots of fluids and not venture far from the bathroom.

On the job front - the new job is going amazing! I've done one day alone and managed quite nicely. I only had to call for help once (but it was a doozy - we went off the air for a few minutes - not good in radio!) I like it so far (it's only been one week but it's like falling off a bicycle... I picked up the routine in nothing flat).

New Job News

I started my new part time job today at our local radio station. I used to work in radio four years ago and I jumped back into the fishbowl of radio and swam like a guppy! This station uses a more sophisticated software system but it seems much easier than the old DARTS system we used to use way back when. I'll be doing logs, filing, answering phones, and all the stuff that needs to get done. I'm excited about the idea of being "in radio" again even if I'm not one of the elite on-air personalities. I'm happy being behind the scenes, making things run smooth.