Back To School

I saw this poem on an internet radio site earlier this week and I'd like to share it here. Please don't get teary eyed like I did the first time I heard it! If you do, here's a tissue to get you through! Thanks to those at KLOVE for publishing it - it is called

Treat Her Well

Dear World,
I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress , two twinkling eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long and a flash of shiny hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well. She’s slipping out of the back yard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day of school and never again will she be completely mine. Frail and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good Bye” and walk with little lady steps to the school house. Now she’ll learn to stand in lines and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school bells and deadlines and she’ll learn to giggle and gossip and look to the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the isle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she’ll learn to be jealous and now she’ll learn how it feels to be hurt inside now she’ll learn how not to cry. No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the side walk. Nor will she have time to pop out of the bed with the dawn and kiss the lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about those important things. Things like grades, and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. The books and learning will replace the blocks and dolls. Now she’ll find new heroes. For 5 full years now, I’ve been her sage and Santa clause and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers which is only right but no longer will I be the smartest greatest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time she’ll learn what it means to be a member of a group with all of its privileges and disadvantages too. She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud or kiss dogs or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer. Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends and I’ll stand at the front porch and watch her start out on that long lonely journey to becoming a woman. So world I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress with two twinkling eyes and a flash of hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well.

Just about sums up back to school doesn't it?

New Babies

This is the newest member of my family - my brother and sister inlaw's new daughter. Isn't she B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L??? Without a doubt, the most beautiful baby I've seen in 5 years (well, since the birth of my other niece...:D I'm a happy aunt (for the third time!) After a few minor complications everyone is home and resting comfortably.

Busy busy busy

I looked at the calendar today and realized that in just a few short days, August will be over, the kids will be in school (as will I) and fall will be upon us before we're really ready. It's made me wonder whether I'm making the most of my time on this ride called life.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and things have not moved along in a nice manner. The court date came and nothing (to me) was resolved. I'm still in the situation I'm in, nothing has changed there. The one constant is the stress and strain of living with someone you know no longer respects you or cares what happens to you. I have three beautiful children out of this union and not much else. I've got a home I'm fighting to keep however I have recently decided to not fight for it. It's not worth the time, nor the energy. I'd rather take what I am entitled to and leave. There are other places with four walls and a roof - wherever that may be, I will let the Lord decide. I just know that here is not the place of peace and quiet it used to be. I am tense here, snippish, anxious; not the "me" I want to be.

The car died Sunday/Monday so I'm in the market for a new one. The cost to fix it is more than the value of it so my mechanic/friend said it was time to find something else. I've had this van just over two years; I wasn't all that sure about buying it in the first place but felt almost shoved into the deal. This time, I'll make the final decision not someone else.

The one bright spot is that school starts in two weeks! I can't wait to learn new things. My first class is Phlebotomy which should be very interesting. Tuesday/Thursday morning is Pharmacology, Tuesday Night is Intro to Medical Secretarial Procedures and Thursday night is round TWO of Anatomy & Physiology I. Yes I know - been there, done that. Just didn't get high enough grades. I'm certain that I will do much better this time. Keep your fingers crossed!

Lawyers and Such

Well, I got a call late Sunday night asking if I could make a 4:15 appointment on Monday to have a meet and greet with my soon to be ex husband and his lawyer. Can I say that I feel like I haven't even gotten a kiss? It will cost me to have him move out - can we all say $39,000?! That's how much his equity is in the house now that I want to keep. Sooo, it looks like I'm getting another mortgage for about $140K which will pay off my current mortgage, give HIM money he wants as well as let me keep the house I've been taking care of for the past 14 years.

I'm upset - I can't manage a $140K mortgage. The mortgage company insists I can but we'll see. I have the kids - that's all that really matters to me. I need a hug right now and it hasn't been the nicest of weeks so far. My head is swimming with all that I need to do right now and the court date is two days away. I'm hoping to get all the mortgage stuff cleared up and have this whole nightmare be thankfully behind me very soon.

I'm Not Getting Comfortable

Well it's been a very interesting two weeks at my new job at the radio station. On my first day, the station manager quit...a new GM was hired (an ad exec at the station!)...HE promptly let go the afternoon DJ, then the senior program director, which led to one of the other ad exec's turning in HIS keys. The employee list had been changed three times in ONE day! When I went in yesterday, I was asked if I wanted to leave for a while during all this nuttiness and come back that my job would be there. It's kinda like "we'll let you go but bring you back when it calms down". Hey, I've been in places like this before; not a problem - I'll just stay under the radar, do my work, and shut my mouth! I need this job more than before so I can do all these things :)

As for the court date, six days left. I've got a dull pain in my head (I know it's stress) but I'm keeping cool (or at least trying to!) School is starting in three weeks and I'm waiting for a book to finish one of my classes that is hanging on (the math, of course!). I've ordered the notes and am waiting for them to come in the USPS some time this week. I'm hoping to read them and make sense of my last remaining book, take the two tests, the final and be done done done with it (in the next three weeks of course!) I can take the two tests in one day and the final on another (no sweat). I just need to be done with this class before school starts. My nursing school application is ready to roll - I've been updating it with my grades as they have posted - so I'll be ready when applications are ready to be accepted in October/November (I think).

Teaching a Young Dog a New Trick

My boyfriend was thirsty so I took a drink out of the hose and kissed him...He figured he'd cut out the middleman and get his own drink! He's a year old and I do believe this is his first hose-drink. Not to worry - I didn't let him drink too much from the hose and it had been running freely for almost 20 minutes (the pool was being filled at the time).

My beautiful friend!

This is my beautiful friend Cedar-licious. She cut off approximately 21" of her hair Friday and this is the result. SHE LOOKS WONDERFUL doesn't she??? I spent the afternoon with her this past Sunday and she just kept flipping her new hair! It looks so lovely on her - I think it frames her face so nicely...Of course I loved her beautiful long, blonde hair but this is much easier to keep, being that she's the mother of FOUR children under 7!

General Musings

I have been busy busy busy with work (both jobs now), keeping up with the kids (my oldest finally has a summer job!) and taking a day or two to visit my friends up Nawth. I did get a chance to go up this past weekend - the rose arbor is FINISHED! Of course, the last board was nailed into place and Cedar says hey, let's make it 12' longer!! *BLINK* Digging post holes is not easy there (it's not called The Granite State for nothing y'know!) I figure there is a post hole in my very near future and more 4x6's and joist hangers and nails. Good thing I enjoy that kind of work!

It's getting close to my court date and I'm getting a nervous twitch. It's not fear exactly, it's just fear of the unknown. There are so many issues at large that I don't know which one is going to put me over the edge: will I get to keep my home or will I have to sell it? Can I afford it? Will I have to move everyone (when I really don't want to!) Will my soon-to-be-ex be friendly about the whole thing or will he be vindictive? I'm hoping for friendly because that's the way I'd like to see things play out. We'll see... Thank god I have friends to express my fears to or else I'd probably be a sniveling mess by now. I know I'm making the right decision - I haven't had a moment of doubt since last August/September. It's just getting scarier now because the day is getting closer.