Back To School

I saw this poem on an internet radio site earlier this week and I'd like to share it here. Please don't get teary eyed like I did the first time I heard it! If you do, here's a tissue to get you through! Thanks to those at KLOVE for publishing it - it is called

Treat Her Well

Dear World,
I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress , two twinkling eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long and a flash of shiny hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well. She’s slipping out of the back yard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day of school and never again will she be completely mine. Frail and proud she’ll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say “Good Bye” and walk with little lady steps to the school house. Now she’ll learn to stand in lines and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She’ll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school bells and deadlines and she’ll learn to giggle and gossip and look to the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the isle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she’ll learn to be jealous and now she’ll learn how it feels to be hurt inside now she’ll learn how not to cry. No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the side walk. Nor will she have time to pop out of the bed with the dawn and kiss the lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she’ll worry about those important things. Things like grades, and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. The books and learning will replace the blocks and dolls. Now she’ll find new heroes. For 5 full years now, I’ve been her sage and Santa clause and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she’ll learn to share her worship with her teachers which is only right but no longer will I be the smartest greatest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time she’ll learn what it means to be a member of a group with all of its privileges and disadvantages too. She’ll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud or kiss dogs or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer. Today she’ll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends and I’ll stand at the front porch and watch her start out on that long lonely journey to becoming a woman. So world I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crisp dress with two twinkling eyes and a flash of hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you’ll treat her well.

Just about sums up back to school doesn't it?

New Babies

This is the newest member of my family - my brother and sister inlaw's new daughter. Isn't she B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L??? Without a doubt, the most beautiful baby I've seen in 5 years (well, since the birth of my other niece...:D I'm a happy aunt (for the third time!) After a few minor complications everyone is home and resting comfortably.

Busy busy busy

I looked at the calendar today and realized that in just a few short days, August will be over, the kids will be in school (as will I) and fall will be upon us before we're really ready. It's made me wonder whether I'm making the most of my time on this ride called life.

I'm in the middle of a divorce and things have not moved along in a nice manner. The court date came and nothing (to me) was resolved. I'm still in the situation I'm in, nothing has changed there. The one constant is the stress and strain of living with someone you know no longer respects you or cares what happens to you. I have three beautiful children out of this union and not much else. I've got a home I'm fighting to keep however I have recently decided to not fight for it. It's not worth the time, nor the energy. I'd rather take what I am entitled to and leave. There are other places with four walls and a roof - wherever that may be, I will let the Lord decide. I just know that here is not the place of peace and quiet it used to be. I am tense here, snippish, anxious; not the "me" I want to be.

The car died Sunday/Monday so I'm in the market for a new one. The cost to fix it is more than the value of it so my mechanic/friend said it was time to find something else. I've had this van just over two years; I wasn't all that sure about buying it in the first place but felt almost shoved into the deal. This time, I'll make the final decision not someone else.

The one bright spot is that school starts in two weeks! I can't wait to learn new things. My first class is Phlebotomy which should be very interesting. Tuesday/Thursday morning is Pharmacology, Tuesday Night is Intro to Medical Secretarial Procedures and Thursday night is round TWO of Anatomy & Physiology I. Yes I know - been there, done that. Just didn't get high enough grades. I'm certain that I will do much better this time. Keep your fingers crossed!

Lawyers and Such

Well, I got a call late Sunday night asking if I could make a 4:15 appointment on Monday to have a meet and greet with my soon to be ex husband and his lawyer. Can I say that I feel like I haven't even gotten a kiss? It will cost me to have him move out - can we all say $39,000?! That's how much his equity is in the house now that I want to keep. Sooo, it looks like I'm getting another mortgage for about $140K which will pay off my current mortgage, give HIM money he wants as well as let me keep the house I've been taking care of for the past 14 years.

I'm upset - I can't manage a $140K mortgage. The mortgage company insists I can but we'll see. I have the kids - that's all that really matters to me. I need a hug right now and it hasn't been the nicest of weeks so far. My head is swimming with all that I need to do right now and the court date is two days away. I'm hoping to get all the mortgage stuff cleared up and have this whole nightmare be thankfully behind me very soon.

I'm Not Getting Comfortable

Well it's been a very interesting two weeks at my new job at the radio station. On my first day, the station manager quit...a new GM was hired (an ad exec at the station!)...HE promptly let go the afternoon DJ, then the senior program director, which led to one of the other ad exec's turning in HIS keys. The employee list had been changed three times in ONE day! When I went in yesterday, I was asked if I wanted to leave for a while during all this nuttiness and come back that my job would be there. It's kinda like "we'll let you go but bring you back when it calms down". Hey, I've been in places like this before; not a problem - I'll just stay under the radar, do my work, and shut my mouth! I need this job more than before so I can do all these things :)

As for the court date, six days left. I've got a dull pain in my head (I know it's stress) but I'm keeping cool (or at least trying to!) School is starting in three weeks and I'm waiting for a book to finish one of my classes that is hanging on (the math, of course!). I've ordered the notes and am waiting for them to come in the USPS some time this week. I'm hoping to read them and make sense of my last remaining book, take the two tests, the final and be done done done with it (in the next three weeks of course!) I can take the two tests in one day and the final on another (no sweat). I just need to be done with this class before school starts. My nursing school application is ready to roll - I've been updating it with my grades as they have posted - so I'll be ready when applications are ready to be accepted in October/November (I think).

Teaching a Young Dog a New Trick

My boyfriend was thirsty so I took a drink out of the hose and kissed him...He figured he'd cut out the middleman and get his own drink! He's a year old and I do believe this is his first hose-drink. Not to worry - I didn't let him drink too much from the hose and it had been running freely for almost 20 minutes (the pool was being filled at the time).

My beautiful friend!

This is my beautiful friend Cedar-licious. She cut off approximately 21" of her hair Friday and this is the result. SHE LOOKS WONDERFUL doesn't she??? I spent the afternoon with her this past Sunday and she just kept flipping her new hair! It looks so lovely on her - I think it frames her face so nicely...Of course I loved her beautiful long, blonde hair but this is much easier to keep, being that she's the mother of FOUR children under 7!

General Musings

I have been busy busy busy with work (both jobs now), keeping up with the kids (my oldest finally has a summer job!) and taking a day or two to visit my friends up Nawth. I did get a chance to go up this past weekend - the rose arbor is FINISHED! Of course, the last board was nailed into place and Cedar says hey, let's make it 12' longer!! *BLINK* Digging post holes is not easy there (it's not called The Granite State for nothing y'know!) I figure there is a post hole in my very near future and more 4x6's and joist hangers and nails. Good thing I enjoy that kind of work!

It's getting close to my court date and I'm getting a nervous twitch. It's not fear exactly, it's just fear of the unknown. There are so many issues at large that I don't know which one is going to put me over the edge: will I get to keep my home or will I have to sell it? Can I afford it? Will I have to move everyone (when I really don't want to!) Will my soon-to-be-ex be friendly about the whole thing or will he be vindictive? I'm hoping for friendly because that's the way I'd like to see things play out. We'll see... Thank god I have friends to express my fears to or else I'd probably be a sniveling mess by now. I know I'm making the right decision - I haven't had a moment of doubt since last August/September. It's just getting scarier now because the day is getting closer.

Hot Hot Hot

Here in the northeast it's been hotter than the hinges on Hades lately. I've found that the people I work with during the day are managing far better than I. I have gone to work dressed in my normal attire only to find that I want to strip it all off and run nekkid through the sprinklers outside (now...there are no sprinklers outside but people have offered to squirt me with bottles of water from the second floor windows if I decide to go run around sans clothes!)

It's supposed to be hotter this weekend if you can believe it! I plan to drink lots of fluids and not venture far from the bathroom.

On the job front - the new job is going amazing! I've done one day alone and managed quite nicely. I only had to call for help once (but it was a doozy - we went off the air for a few minutes - not good in radio!) I like it so far (it's only been one week but it's like falling off a bicycle... I picked up the routine in nothing flat).

New Job News

I started my new part time job today at our local radio station. I used to work in radio four years ago and I jumped back into the fishbowl of radio and swam like a guppy! This station uses a more sophisticated software system but it seems much easier than the old DARTS system we used to use way back when. I'll be doing logs, filing, answering phones, and all the stuff that needs to get done. I'm excited about the idea of being "in radio" again even if I'm not one of the elite on-air personalities. I'm happy being behind the scenes, making things run smooth.

Cavities and other Yuck

I was the lucky one to take all three kids to the dentist today. I took 1/2 and afternoon off from work to be told that overall my kids have nice teeth however they've got combined at least 9 cavities. My daughter has two, my son four, my oldest has 3. You all know how long it takes to get into the dentist so don't shoot me when I say the oldest is going in tomorrow at 10am! yes, I said TOMORROW!! I almost fainted when the receptionist asked if it was ok. OK?! OK?! Are you NUTS?! Of COURSE it's ok!!! So the oldest goes back tomorrow; the other two have appointments for August 3 and4 th. Yep that's only a couple of weeks away! I think I'm liking this dentist already! We'll see when the bill comes in.

Today is also my last free afternoon. Tomorrow afternoon I start my new job at a local radio station doing the traffic and miscellaneous office work. I'll report later in the week how it goes. I celebrated my last afternoon off by taking out the canoe with my three kids. I took the youngest and my middle son out, then came back, dumped them out, took the oldest alone, brought him back and then took the middle son out again alone. I'm wiped out!! I had to call Sandy from the middle of the lake to rag - Hey guess where I am?! LOL! In the middle of the lake! I can't say what the reply was - something like Aww you bugger!! LOL We haven't been out on the lake in a couple of weeks. It was cool to turn the kids onto something fun.

Learning New Things

This weekend, I spent watching my friend Cedar work on face painting. She is amazing! I can't believe she "claims" to not "know how" to paint! She did an awesome tiger face on her middle daughter that, if she hadn't said it was her, I would NOT have recognized her! She had a very serious expression on her face that fit right in with the tiger face. Cedar also had two gigs, one was a warm up where she absolutely ROCKED according to Phil, and a second 'not so busy' gig where she only painted nine faces in 3 hours. A little disappointing but she rocked on one of the two so it was ok :)

She has inspired me to work on my balloon twisting - I need to learn more, do more, get myself out there to the people in town who do not know me and what I do.

Canoeing I Go

Well, I finally got to take my new baby up to my friend's house. For those that haven't been following along, I bought a canoe recently. Sandy (my friend) and I took her out for a short trip around Crowley Pond and I got a quick steering lesson. We then spent a good deal of Sunday afternoon working on her - she's got some new screws, a nice wooden cover on the stern and a panel on the bow to hold in the foam pieces. Everything is nice and waterproofed with eye hooks on both ends to put rope through. I felt confident enough to take Miss Rachel out on Monday afternoon for a short spin on the lake near our house. We both had a blast just taking a short glide around the lake. I wanted to go again today but it's been thundering out off and on all day so I don't really want to take a chance. There will be plenty of days to take her out :)

Sunday I was at Phil and Cedar's to celebrate their youngest's birthday - he turned the BIG ONE! I have truly forgotten how much fun it is to celebrate a first birthday! Yo got into his cake with much abandon. Can you say Ice cream E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E? There are pictures but I won't post without permission. All I will say is that the Big Boy got a shower with me after he was done with his ice cream cake (which didn't thrill him at all).

Big Red Riding Hood

Late last night, I figured out how to fix the chain on my new bike (it's an 18-speed Schwinn) and it is ready to roll! Since I'm 5'9 it would be silly to call myself Little Red Riding Hood! I went for a short ride today to the local store for milk. I know one thing - my butt has forgotten what it's like to ride! OUCH! The only benefit to carrying the gallon of milk home on your back? Your back stays nice and cool :)

I'm a sweaty, tired mess right now so I'm heading off to the bedroom where the AC is on and it's nice and chilly. A shower is on tap for later this afternoon - I have some more dirty work to do and it doesn't make sense to shower now and then in about an hour...just sit upwind of me!

Happy 4th of July

I had a rare day off so I decided to go alone to NH and visit my friends. I left Friday afternoon early (picking up Sandy from work on the way up). We decided to go to dinner while we were out and enjoyed a very nice seafood dinner at a restaurant where we DIDN'T have to speak into the clown's mouth to order! :)

Then onward to the house. The little girls were almost asleep when I got there, but I did manage to sneak in and pass out hugs and kisses all around. Cedar and Phil were both up and we had a chance to sit and chat like grown ups. It was a nice evening all around.

I had the opportunity to spend Saturday with the girls - they were very well behaved all afternoon. No need to speak more than once to any of them. They swam in the pool, we went to Petco to get some ICK medicine for the fishtank, then stopped for ice cream on the way home. After a very short (less than 20 minutes for everyone) lie down, I made cheeseburgers for dinner and everyone ate everything. By the time Phil and Cedar got home, everyone was asleep - even the baby! I just wore that poor little thing out. Of course, I only had about twenty minutes of grown up talk before I, too, hit the sack and fell right to sleep.

Sunday I helped with several projects - one being shoring up a trunk for Phil and Cedar to use in their library show. I helped a lot - I got to hold the screws oooh boy! LOL. Then it was on to fence staining so that the yard can be fenced in and keep the little ones safe. The final project of the day was starting a rose arbor on the side of the house. Somehow I managed to drop a 2 x 6 x 12' piece of lumber on my right foot. Hurts like the devil but Cedar is going to love this rose arbor when it's all done. All day Sunday the scent of ribs smoking wafted through the air. I was going to leave at about 3 to head home but when I called home, everyone had gone off for the night so I decided to stay for the rib-a-cue and come home Monday morning (a rare day off for me!) I dropped Sandy off at work on my way home Monday morning and then headed to my home. After 2 1/2 hours of driving I pulled into my driveway, walked into a house that was totally devoid of people (for a CHANGE) and promptly fell asleep across the bed. When I got up, I hung out a load of laundry, did the dishes, tidied the bathroom and mowed my front lawn.

Right now, it's almost 9pm and I'm seriously thinking of taking shower number 2 for the day. I'm wiped out from trying to put the chain on my bicycle and inflating the tires. I'd like to ride tomorrow but I don't think that's going to be an option - I put the chain on backwards...ya I know... yes, I DID read the directions!!!

It MUST Be Monday!

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain falling on the air conditioner. Now, normally falling rain doesn't bother me but this morning, it seems like the rain was hitting the one place on the a/c where it made the most maddening plink........plink......plink. Almost like the chinese water torture! I finally got up because it was just plinking on my nerves! I went into the bathroom, and one of my lovely cats decided to barrel his/her way into the house by pulling the screen down and tossing it out the second story window. I look out the window and there's the screen, down there in the tall prickly weeds. OOOOK...that means the bugs have been streaming into the house all night. Wonderful! MOSQUITO BUFFET'S OPEN! *chuckle* I shut the window; so much for a nice breeze. I'll go down and get the screen but I'll leave it out until I can somehow convince the cats to NOT knock it down.

My daughter is in NY on vacation - she called last night to tell me she'd caught not one, but three little fish in the pond using the green fishing rod (somehow there's some significance to the rod's color but I didn't ask!) She's having fun with her grandmother being spoiled rotten. She'll be home late Saturday night, all nice and tired but ready for camp next Monday.

Weather Musings and Such

People say women are fickle but I have seen nothing more fickle than New England weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute-it will change! This morning we woke up to rain, heavy at first, then lightening to a drizzle, then to the point where it's actually stopped and the sun has managed to peep out for a while. The All Star game was cancelled at 9:00 am this morning, so my daughter left for her vacation week. Now, if it doesn't rain tomorrow, the game will be held and she will miss it. It was an issue with her - which to do - go on vacation or wait another day to see if she'd be playing in her first ever all star game. Both were things she really wanted to do but her vacation won!

I've had the house to myself for most of the day. My sons are off doing their own things and for once, I have total tv control. Of course, there's absolutely nothing on so I'm playing cards on line. I've done the dishes, my washing is done, the bathroom primer coat is drying. The cats are out terrorizing the dog on his chain. Everyone is busy doing their own thing.

I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND! I miss working weekends. I worked seven days for so many years; now that I only work weekdays, I miss the busy weekends. It's too quiet here for me. I've discovered something interesting - while I like being alone, I do not like it for long periods of time. I itch to go out and do something - see and talk to people. I don't know if that makes me insecure in my own skin or what - I just know I'm much more comfortable being around others than being alone.

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

Well, it's officially pouring now! The rain is coming down hard and fast - I'm not sure if the game is still on for Saturday (tomorrow) but it is not looking all that promising. My weekend plans have just been cancelled (sorry, I'm going to pout now)... *sigh* :(

Looks like the sun dance didn't work for me this weekend. Next weekend I promised my daughter I'd be home when she got back from her trip to NY. I'm working on the 3rd and off on the 4th - crazy, I know! My next weekend off is the weekend of the 9th and I'm pretty sure the boys are busy with some concert they were just talking about at dinner. Not any music I'd like I'm sure (the only White Stripes I know about are on tigers!)

I'm off to go finish watching my movie. It's boring at the moment but I'm hoping it will perk up.

Sun Dance

I'm doing a little sun dance right now hoping that the sun stays out until tomorrow morning. My lovely daughter has been chosen to play on the All-Star Team for girl's softball and tomorrow is "THE BIG GAME". She's also leaving to go to see her grandma in NY Saturday after said game for a whole week. If it rains, the game will move to Sunday which will mean she can't leave until then for her vacation week. We're all doing the sun dance now, trying to convince it to shine shine shine! It's ok I try to tell them, if it rains now...as long as it isn't raining when we wake up tomorrow!

Buzzer's buzzing - it's time to go to work! Enjoy the day!

Buying the RIGHT Straps is IMPORTANT!

As I previously mentioned, I bought a canoe and also some straps. Unfortunately they were not the right straps. I went up this bumpy hill to get my son at his girlfriend's house and when I got there, my son wasn't there but her father said, "Hey, two of those strips are not hooked up! You're gonna lose your boat!" So he took one them off and replaced them with a nice wide rachet strap and directed me to return the straps I had purchased and get rachet straps. I went up to Wal-Mart and exchanged the straps. Have you ever tried to put on rachet straps in the DARK?! Under a street light that kept going on and off?! Frustrating as all get out! I did get two of the new straps on nice and snug. That canoe isn't going anywhere! The front and back straps are fine; it was just the three that I was using across the canoe that weren't going to work.

I'm all set now; watch out quiet water, here I come! Hopefully Saturday I"ll get a chance to put her in the water and see what happens. I hope to God it doesn't LEAK!! I will NOT be a happy paddler if she leaks...